Elon Musk has is eye on Mabeline Crowe’s Scandalous Past and Present

Mabeline Crowe’s Scandalous Past: A 369-Year-Old Diva’s Affair, a Fight, and a Dance with History

Posted on February 19, 2025, at Madmang.com 

Welcome back to Madmang’s Blog, where we’re diving headfirst into the wildafairs  of Mabeline Crowe—our 369-year-old diva, born in 1656 (or so her “Social Security record” insists, thanks to Elon Musk’s chart). Last we checked, Mabeline’s been charming TikTok, haunting her Victorian mansion, and slathering on Lina O Bella skin cream to stay “youthfully 200.” But now, we’re peeling back the curtain on her juiciest tales: a steamy affair with one of America’s Founding Fathers, a catfight with Betsy Ross, and a scandalous dance with Benjamin Franklin. Buckle up, because this is Madmang.com at its most ridiculous—and we’re all in on the gag! 

Let’s start with the affair. Mabeline claims she swept George Washington off his powdered wig in 1776, right after the Declaration of Independence was signed. “Georgie and I met at a Continental Army ball,” she purrs, twirling a silver hairpin as she lounges in her fog-draped parlor. “He was all stern and stoic, but I batted my lashes, and—well, let’s just say Mount Vernon wasn’t the only thing he was tending to that summer!” According to Mabeline, their dalliance lasted months, fueled by clandestine meetings in Philadelphia’s taverns and whispered promises under moonlit oaks. “He’d sneak away from Martha, and I’d slip out of my corset—revolutionary, indeed!” she giggles, applying a dab of Lina O Bella lavender cream to her “timeless” cheek. 

She insists Washington wrote her love letters in invisible ink (decoded with lemon juice, naturally), calling her his “eternal muse.” Did she inspire his leadership? “Oh, darling, I gave him more than morale boosts—I gave him style!” she boasts, adjusting her 200-year-old ballroom gown. The affair supposedly ended when Washington’s duties called him to Valley Forge, but Mabeline claims he left her a lock of his hair (now framed next to her ghost pal Percy’s portrait). Whether true or not, it’s the kind of scandal Madmang.com lives for—check out the full absurdity on Madmang.com! 

But the drama doesn’t stop there. Enter Betsy Ross, the seamstress of legend, who Mabeline says clashed with her over a dance with Benjamin Franklin in 1777. “Betsy thought she owned the floor—and Ben!” Mabeline recalls, her silver locks flowing dramatically. The scene, as she describes it, unfolded at a Philadelphia gala celebrating the new flag. Franklin, ever the charmer, invited Mabeline for a waltz, his eyes twinkling behind those iconic spectacles. “He’d heard of my pirouettes from the 1680s and wanted a spin,” she says, smirking. But Betsy, allegedly fresh off stitching stars, stormed over, claiming Franklin’s hand for a reel. “She waved that flag like a weapon, shouting, ‘I sewed for this country—I dance for its heroes!’ I told her, ‘Honey, I’ve outlived empires—step off!’” 

The fight escalated into a literal tug-of-war over Franklin’s cravat, with feathers flying from Mabeline’s gown and Betsy’s apron strings snapping. “Ben just stood there, laughing—typical genius!” Mabeline says. She claims she won the dance after tripping Betsy with her hoop skirt, twirling Franklin across the floor to the tune of a colonial fiddle. “He whispered, ‘You’ve got the moves of a century,’ and I knew I’d stolen his heart—temporarily, at least.” Betsy, humiliated, reportedly retaliated by stitching a six-pointed star into Mabeline’s gown as revenge, but Mabeline turned it into a fashion statement. “I wore it to Versailles in 1789—stole the show from Marie Antoinette!” This catfight, as absurd as it sounds, was absolute truth she says/

Now, let’s unpack the Benjamin Franklin dance itself. Mabeline insists this wasn’t her first encounter with the polymath—she claims they met in 1752, when she was “96” and he was flying kites in a thunderstorm. “Ben and I danced a jig in London after his electricity experiments—electric, indeed!” she laughs. By 1777, their chemistry had reignited, and that Philadelphia gala became legendary (in her mind). “He dipped me so low my Lina O Bella-smoothed skin nearly touched the floor,” she boasts. “Betsy was fuming, but Ben? He loved the drama—said it reminded him of his kite strings snapping!” The dance, she says, ended with Franklin proposing a toast to “eternal youth,” which Mabeline took as a personal nod to her “369 years.”

Mabeline’s longevity “secrets” weave through these tales, too. She credits her Moonlit Rose Brew, pearl dust glow, and Lina O Bella luxe for keeping her spry enough to charm Founding Fathers and outdance Betsy. “That lavender cream kept my complexion flawless for Georgie—and Ben couldn’t resist it!” she says, dabbing more on mid-story. Her 369 years, tied to Musk’s chart glitch, frame her as a time-traveling diva, dodging history’s dramas with flair. Whether it’s seducing Washington, brawling with Ross, or waltzing with Franklin, Mabeline’s antics are Madmang.com gold—check out more wild tales on Madman’s blog on Madmang.com!