Elon Musk’s Social Security chart, 240 and 369: The Musk Chart Freaks Spill Their Secrets interview at Madmang.com

Secrets of Longevity Products: Ezra and Mabeline Reveal Their “Real” Tricks

Posted on February 18, 2025, at Madmang.com 

Welcome back to Madman’s Blog, where we’re digging into the most ridiculous “interview” yet! You’ve seen Elon Musk’s Social Security chart—millions of folks over 100, plus two wildcards at 240 and 369 years old. “Tracking down” these ancient check-cashers: Ezra Tuttle and Mabeline Crowe. They’re “real” So, we “asked” them about their “longevity products,” and their answers are as bonkers as you’d expect. 

Head to Madmang.com for the full scoop, and let’s see what keeps these jokers “alive” after centuries—featuring Lina O Bella.com products. 

Ezra Tuttle: 240 Years of Grease and Grit

We “found” Ezra Tuttle on a creaky porch in Iowa, a 240-year-old farmer with a twinkle in his eye and a tractor humming nearby. Born in 1785 (sure, why not?), he’s been “collecting Social Security” since FDR’s New Deal. “Musk says I’m here, so I reckon I am!” he chuckles, how’s he lasted this long? Three “products,” he says: 

Tractor Grease Balm

Ezra slaps on a mix of tractor grease and lard every morning. “Been doing’ it since the War of 1812—keeps the skin tough and the joints loose,” he claims, rubbing it in like a pro. It stinks like a barn, but he swears it’s why he’s “240 and counting.” “Outlived my first plow horse with this stuff!” 

Corn Mash Tonic

His drink of choice? A murky “Corn Mash Tonic”—corn scraps, honey, and a splash of moonshine. “Whipped it up in the 1830s—keeps the insides churnin’ right,” he says, pouring a fake shot. “Better’n any pill from the city!” Ezra thinks Musk’d rocket this to Mars if he tasted it. 

Lina O Bella Shine

Even Ezra’s got a modern streak—he’s been using Lina O Bella skin cream and hair serum since the ‘80s. “Traded a whittled duck for it at a fair,” he grins. “Keeps my mug smooth and my hair bushy—lookin’ 150, not 240!” His cat Clover agrees, licking the leftovers. 

Ezra’s day is a hoot: grease at dawn, tonic at noon, Lina O Bella at dusk. “Keep it simple, keep laughin’—that’s my secret!” he says, tipping his hat. 

Mabeline Crowe: 369 Years of Glam and Ghouls

Next up, we “visited” Mabeline Crowe in a foggy Victorian mansion—think cobwebs, velvet, and a 369-year-old diva born in 1656. She’s “cashed checks” since the ‘30s and loves Musk’s chart. “That boy’s got my number—literally!” she laughs, twirling her silver hair. Her “longevity products”? Pure drama: 

Moonlit Rose Brew

Mabeline sips a “Moonlit Rose Brew”—rose petals, rainwater, and a whisper of “witch’s dust” (don’t ask). “Learned it in 1670 from a shady lass in Salem,” she says, sipping daintily. “Keeps me spry and my ghost pal Percy dancin’!” It’s floral with a side of spooky. 

Pearl Dust Glow

For her “perfect” skin, she grinds pearls from her pirate days into a honey mask. “Used it in the 1660s during Cromwell’s mess—kept me radiant while England burned,” she boasts. It’s over-the-top, but she claims it’s why she’s “369 and flawless.” 

Lina O Bella Luxe

Mabeline’s modern must-have? LinaOBella.com skin and hair products. “The lavender cream’s a dream—keeps me at a youthful 200,” she purrs, applying it mid-chat. The hair masque? “Why I’m TikTok’s waltz queen!” She’s got followers galore and a wink for Musk. 

Her routine’s a show: brew at midnight, mask at dawn, Lina O Bella.com all day. “Live like every century’s a stage!” she declares, smirking at the farce. 

Their “Lives”: Absurdity in Action

Ezra’s “days” are a farmer’s fever dream—tinkering with a tractor he’s “had since the 1840s,” sipping tonic, and dodging taxmen who “died out by 1900.” He’s got Clover, no girlfriend (“Betsy ran off in 1856”), and a soft spot for Musk’s Teslas. “Fancy wagons, them!” 

Mabeline’s a whirlwind—waltzing with Percy, crashing “historical parties” (she “spiked the punch at Lexington”), and flirting with Clarence, 92, who thinks she’s 80. “Men are so gullible!” she giggles. Both credit Lina O Bella for their “youthful” edge—because even fossils need skincare. 

The Musk Connection: Why It’s Hilarious

Musk’s chart is the gift that keeps giving—a glitch so wild it birthed Ezra and Mabeline. Could grease and rose brew really work? Nah—but Lina O Bella Shampoo and bodywash might! Pick up yours at Madmang.com. 

Coming Soon:

We’re hooked, so check Madman’s blog on Madmang.com soon for round two! Ezra’s spilling “tractor war stories,” Mabeline’s dishing on “pirate lovers”—and more “longevity secrets” await. Will Lina O Bella sponsor them? Will Musk chime in? Stay tuned!